Be Inspired
Our "Wisdom Wednesday" posts feature motivational quotes and reflections that offer deep insights from overcoming life's challenges. These posts aim to inspire and uplift you on your journey of of self discovery and growth. Drawing from Kimberly Sharp's experiences, she provides a unique perspective that fosters resilience, connection, and the pursuit of becoming your best self.
We hope you embrace these reflections and let them guide you towards a flourishing and fulfilling life. Want more? Join us each Wednesday on Instagram for new quotes and reflections.
Someone once asked me what I would do if I was 10X bolder. I was caught off guard and quickly realized that all too often we focus on constraints, fears, and risks, not ever opening our minds to the possibility of what could be without them. Looking back now I realize I barely gave a response that was 1x bolder. I liken it to mentally rearranging preverbal deck chairs on the Titanic, when I should have been thinking big, much bigger.
It is often said that by aiming high, even if you fail, you’ll land among the stars. Now that’s a view that I could get used to.
Ever since I wrote about quiet quitting last month, I can’t tell you how many people have reached out to me expressing their concerns about the lack of balance in their lives. To my surprise the lack of balance wasn’t just related to work, more often it centered around the obligations we feel to also prioritize our family and friends before ourselves. In my continued, or better said, never ending journey of self-discovery and growth I am learning that the only person I can rely on to create balance for me… is me. Without determining what is important to me and how I want to honor those priorities, I found that someone else will inevitably prescribe how I will send my precious and unrenewable time. For me, that became unacceptable and that’s when I realized that I had the power to own my day. Do I always live my ideal day, no, but knowing what it looks likes has me consistently finding more balance. That balance, as you might expect, has me feeling more grounded and settled but it also has made me productive at work and more present with family and friends.
How to you create your balance?
I have the hardest time saying no, especially to people I care for both personally and professionally. I guess, the good news is that I find myself on I can’t say no island with whole lot of other people. The bad news is that none of us should be there. Dean Graziosi instructs those he coaches to keep a “Not to Do List,” he encourages people to take an inventory of what they do each day and determine what no longer serves them and put it on the list of things to stop doing.
I heard someone else say, they use their ‘Nos’ to protect their ‘Yeses’ … now isn’t that a genius idea? For example, I’ve made a commitment to read a new book every 2 weeks. In order to meet that important goal, because after all leaders are readers, I have had to schedule reading time each day. That time is on my calendar just like any other appointment; I honor that Yes consistently and have never regretted it. Not to mention that no one, when I respectfully decline other requests for my time, has complained. My quest for knowledge doesn’t simply support my own growth journey but makes me a better person for my family and friends, a better leader for my team and a better coach and mentor in my community.
So, which one of your yeses is worth protecting?
I have come to learn just how impactful negative self-talk is. We all have it, that voice inside our head telling us, “you can’t do it,” “you’re not worth it,” “you’re not smart enough or healthy enough.” The truth is, that negative voice is louder than we give it credit for. We are what we tell ourselves.
In recent years, daily positive self-affirmations have become a social media trend. Trend or not, they are a powerful tool in unlearning negative self-talk. I expressed my inner negative voice to a friend, who was horrified that I spoke to myself that way. They repeated back my words and asked if I would ever use them to describe someone else. My answer was easy, “No, never!” Then why speak of yourself that way, they challenged. They were right. They shared how they viewed me. I wrote that description down and for weeks have kept it by my bed, reading it to myself every morning.
I’d be lying if I said that my negative self-talk has completely disappeared, but it has become considerably softer, and I am beginning to acknowledge things I do well versus focusing on what I don’t. I am happier and feel more empowered today and for that I am grateful.
I recently read, James Clear’s Atomic Habits (I know I’m late to the game on this one), where I learned that by creating a system for our regular daily task frees up our mind’s capacity to focus on bigger, more meaningful things. Take for example, my weekly travel as a consultant – I book my flights within a two window, I fly the same airline, I connect through the same airport, I drive the same route to the airport and park in the same spot, I go through the same security checkpoint, fill my water bottle at the same water fountain, eat the same pre-flight snack while sitting in the same chair, I board the plane at the same time, put my luggage in the same overhead head compartment and sit in the same seat – you get the idea. I never gave what I did much thought, never referred to as a system or process, never recognized that over time I gain efficiency and free myself up to concentrate on more critical things or that my system permitted me to adapt quickly to changes like flight delays and cancelations. I can see how on a broader scale, developing daily routines and consistently executing them – managing the easy stuff, can help anticipate, address, and adapt to the difficult stuff.
Dwelling on the past, doesn’t do any of us good. Knowing where you’ve come from, what you’ve lived through, and accepting it with an open heart helps us to be present and grounded in who we’ve become and where we are today. The power of mindful living is the awareness that we can never truly become happy, only be happy.
Failure is the subject of many inspirational messages like, "Failure is the first step to success." "Fail fast. Fail often." and "Always fail forward." These sentiments maybe true but they're extremely difficult to apply in our personal lives. We are our own worst critics; negative self-talk can become overwhelming and prevent us from #learning and moving #forward.
For the last 6 months I've been hyper focused on my health with the expressed goal of eliminating the medications I've require as a result of my accident 5 years ago. I've reduced them by more than two thirds so far but instead of being proud of my progress I've been focusing on my "failure" of not being completely weaned off them all.
Then I unexpectedly received this message from a friend, "Fall in love with the process...don't get fixated on the outcome...then you can never say 'I'm not happy with the outcome,' because the process will dictate how you evolve." This message makes me incredibly grateful for my supportive and loving tribe. It also has me rethinking my perspective on failure and this acronym sums it up... FAIL - First Attempt in Learning.
I'm smiling in this picture because it's the first time I've completed a run over 4 miles since 2016. It's hard to believe that this month marks the 5 year anniversary of my accident. Looking back it may be one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Sure the physical recovery was hard, it still is. I might never regain full use of my hand and the neuropathy may always be with me. However, once again life has taught me that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.
I've spent 5 years developing relationships with a group of amazing practitioners, who, through trial and lots of errors have finally found a combination of homeopathic and naturopathic therapies that work for me. It has been a journey of intense learning and self discovery. I believe more than ever that God gives you exactly what you need when you need it. I am a better person because of my journey so far.
Today I look forward with excitement knowing that the rest of my life will be filled with opportunities to grow and evolve.
What a powerful and inspiring message.
Life isn't predictable and it sure isn't easy. All too often we don't give ourselves enough credit for surviving all that life's put in our path. That's a dangerous way to live because it wrongfully defines us based on the bad things we've experienced and witnessed. It takes away our power, keeps us from experiencing true joy and stunts our personal growth. Instead we should proudly redefine ourselves based on the resiliency and strength we leveraged to overcome life's obstacles.
Self love might just be the hardest #love of all to consistently get right, it is for me. The more I learn and grow the more I realize how much further I have to go but I've also become acutely aware of how important it is to give others the space to grow in their own way.
I was reminded recently of the lessons in Kaleel Jamison's book The Nibble Theory and the Kernel of Power … my growth and the self empowerment I derive from that growth does not and should not cast a shadow on the personal discovery journey of others. When we #encourage and celebrate our shared growth we all benefit.
That's why this poem by Sophie Diener really resonated with me. Taking time to unplug and get grounded in nature makes me happy but also gives me a perspective about myself and the world at large. I'm so glad this picture captured one of the rare moments when I remembered to be #kind to myself. In the spirit of shared growth "today I hope you look at yourself and you are kind.
When I first began my career I was so focused on how other's defined success that I let it influence my actions and worse my self worth. I was absolutely stressed out and miserable... I was broken. Now I have a singular focus and it has absolutely nothing to do arbitrary definitions of success, like job title and salary. Instead I'm focused on showing up as my authentic self 100% of the time, period. To me that means working with purpose and passion, while having fun and being secure in the value I bring to my team and clients. These are the the yard sticks I use to measure my self-worth today.
I heard this quote today, “Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception.” It was said by Carl Sagan who was an American astronomer and it got me thinking about the miracle that is human life. Did you know as a human being you have a 1 in 400 trillion chance of being born? By that statistic alone if you are reading this you are a miracle.
If I'm honest with myself, too often I get all caught up in the daily minutiae of life and lose sight of the many blessings I've received. This quote was the gentle reminder I needed to reconnect with what's really important and it gave me an immense sense of gratitude. I hope it gives you a little perspective.
We've all heard time and time again that change is hard. We hear it about our work, our personal lives and the world at large. Accepting that I can't control everything has given me the freedom to focus on where I can influence change in my own life and in the lives of the people I care about both personally and professionally. I have never felt more inspired and confident. I wish I could wrap up these often illusive positive feelings in a big bow and gift them every young girl who hasn't yet discovered the power within themselves.
I learned the concept of giving myself a permission slip from Brene Brown. According to her, their primary purpose is to serve as an explicit intention setting tool. I use them to help me lean into engagement especially when I am trying something new, while also giving myself permission to fail. And YES... I really do physically write them out on Post-It Notes and hang them on my mirror.
As a result of consistently using this tool I've been able to exert more intentional focus and energy on what makes me truly happy. As a bonus, I have been experiencing less #guilt about putting me first. I'm starting to realize that when I'm fulfilled I have more to give others.
My favorite tree is the Southern or Virginia Living Oak or as some call them Live Oaks for short. They are majestic fast growing trees that reach full size in 70 years, although they've been know to live for a thousand years. While many focus on their foliage or the Spanish Moss often dangling from their limbs, I tend to look at their trunks, branches and roots. There is an unexplainable beauty in these parts of the tree, they tell its story and that story mirrors our own human experience. When faced with adversity a tree doubles down and turns its energy inwards to deepen its roots, a lesson worth noting but a tree also teaches us to:
Stay grounded
Connect with our roots
Turn over a new leaf
Bend before you break
Enjoy your unique natural beauty
And always keep growing
In short we could all learn a valuable life lesson... Be Like a tree.
Eight years ago I made a commitment to get healthy. I worked really hard and had so many wonderful people support me. Then in 2016 I went from jogging a 5k to being temporarily incapacitated and house bound for 13 weeks following a car accident. Just like everything else in life recovery is not a single event it is a journey, and it takes dedication.
Getting hurt made me afraid to use my body so I fell back on bad habits over these past few years - I stopped working out or only did so sporadically. All told, I found myself unhappy and unmotivated to follow through on the commitment I made to myself all those years ago. I felt ashamed and unworthy. I became consumed with what people might think of me, especially if I dared to step back into the gym. Then I saw this video of Will Smith saying, "If you can't beat the fear just do it scared." Don’t ask me why it resonated with me when so many other things didn't; maybe it was like receiving a permission slip - that it was okay to scared.
So here in the city I love, New Orleans, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and Audubon Park to begin a 5k training program. Today marks the 10th day I've been out training. For the first time since I started, I didn't feel motivated to get out there, but I read this quote again and did it anyways... in the middle of the day in the blazing sun, the temperature soaring to 86° with 50% humidity. I’m not going to lie it was brutal, but I did it scared and came through the other side. I am so proud of myself today and even though this picture isn't the best and shows my pure exhaustion; it also reminds me that I am capable of so much more than I think I am... and so are you!
When I first began my career I was highly motivated by titles, awards and money. Those became the core tenants of the value system I defined for myself and how I measured my personal worth and success. Looking from the outside in, you probably didn't realize just how very unhappy I was. Every morning I dragged my unmotivated self out of bed and prepared to spend the best part of my day portraying a persona that I thought others expected. What an awful way to live!
Today, I approach my life completely different. Now my motivation is all about my legacy. Being motivated by legacy means being my authentic self, having unwavering values and making a positive impact on the lives of people around me - family, friends, colleagues and clients alike. Now I LOVE my job. I wake up ready to tackle whatever gets thrown at me because I work with purpose and passion - that brings me joy. Having the courage to show up this way means getting really comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like you or what you stand for. And that's okay because I am doing things worth remembering.
This week's Wisdom Wednesday quote comes courtesy of Taylor Rray Holbrook and is a line in his song Way Back When. Some of you know me better than others but if you've been following this series it comes as no surprise that life has thrown me a few curve balls through the years. I was recently asked why I started to share more of my life experiences with others. The truth is, I don't believe that God presented me with challenges and the ability to overcome them without a reason.
By sharing I have to do a lot of hard work to acknowledge, accept and understand what's happened to me. By sharing I grow through what I go through and I can only hope that by sharing I inspire others to continue valiantly growing through their own obstacles.
This week marks 6 months since I lost my Auntie Sue after her long and courageous battle with colon cancer. Losing her gave me an up close and personal view of human life's fragility. We are all guilty of say things like, "there's always tomorrow", "when I retire I will..." "Someday I'd like to..." I have said things like this so many times but the truth is, that someday is really just code for never. If you're like me, someday hasn't come yet and if we don't change it never will.
The ability to shift from someday to now takes work and dedication. It means truly prioritizing what's important. A few years ago I stopped saying bucket list - it sounded too grim. I have a life list and one of the big things on it is to visit all 50 states and work trips don't count. I have been not so steadily chipping away at for years. Well, no more. In 10 days I am embarking on an epic solo roadtrip. I've dubbed it "My Great American Road Trip" - just me, my beloved Jeep and the open road for 24 days, 4100 miles, 14 states, and 29 cities and towns.
I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to witness how my Auntie Sue embodied grace and grit in living with cancer for 8 years, and lived she did - horseback riding, skiing, kayaking, traveling and spending precious time with family and friends. I'm taking a page out of her playbook, stripping someday from my vocabulary and living my life for right now. After all, right now is the only guarantee we have.
Every once in a while I lose my way and forget this lesson. Most recently it was, believe it or not, on my birthday. I felt so worthless that I refused to celebrate and completely checked out. I answered the phone only once that day. I'd like to think that I was smart enough to subconsciously know why that was the one call. Looking back now, I'd say it's because it was the one person I knew I could be myself with completely; because they understood what I was feeling but also wouldn't let me stay there. I would get the pep talk, the one that told me I was enough when I couldn't say it for myself.
This gave me renewed gratitude for my small but mighty tribe. It also gave me a new perspective on the matter of worth. My life is beautiful but it's also crazy and hard. So I'm redefining what these 3 words mean to me.... I am most certainly enough but that doesn't mean I have to do this all alone.
To the person who needs to hear this, just as I did on my birthday - YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Definitely not my typical Wisdom Wednesday quote but it's been one of those weeks... and IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY, so it seemed fitting. To know me is to know that I love my work. It brings me immense joy and such a sense of accomplishment that it often doesn't feel like work at all. Then there are weeks like this one when my workload quite simply exceeds my capacity. When I start to feel like I know it's time to pack it up and walk away. Walking away for me doesn't mean giving up. It means doing things that will help me refocus and start fresh in the morning. Tonight that was adding an evening meditation session, cooking myself a nice dinner, enjoying a glass of wine (I used the good dishes and glasses, because I deserve it), and writing in my journal. Taking some time to step away doesn't make the work go away but it does give me perspective, which helps me to better prioritize, delegate and even maybe, just maybe, ask for help.
In honor of World Hearing Day and I am sharing my personal story of working while hearing impaired for the first time publicly. I hope you take a few minutes to learn about the challenges your deaf and hard of hearing friends and colleagues face and what you can do to create a more inclusive world for them.
Read Working in a Hearing World: Creating an inclusive workplace for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community.
All my life I struggled with the notion of self-worth. After many years of hard work and education I am only now beginning to understand the dramatic and lasting impact trauma has on the human psyche, especially when that trauma occurs during our formative childhood years. Surviving trauma may be the first step; overcoming it is an entirely different thing. Honestly, I am still trying to overcome it - attempting to quiet that often too loud voice in my head that reminds me that I'm "not worth it," that I don't "deserve it." And the "it" can be anything from a promotion at work, to the kindness of others, or a nice home and certainly not love, unconditional love.
I have spent countless hours over the years doing for others and giving to others out of some twisted idea that if I gave more than everyone else I might one day be worthy of receiving love and kindness. What I have finally come to realize is that I was doing and giving to the wrong people. I needed to start with me - I needed to love myself and to be kind to myself. So when I saw this quote I immediately knew it was perfect for Wisdom Wednesday. My mom always said, "You need to be a little bit selfish." Now I know this is what she meant. If you give yourself away you'll have nothing left.
DISCLAIMER: This Wisdom Wednesday post is a day late because that's how long it took me to get up the courage to share this part of my life.
When I reflect on my life's journey I remember fondly the 6 years I spent in DC. At 18 I was an optimistic idealist ready to take on the "establishment" from the inside out. My plan was to attend university and work on the Hill. While I did both I never felt the sense of purpose and belonging I hoped for. And so began my somewhat destructive path of self-discovery. I held odd jobs like working in a law library, and for a community action group, but I was probably better know for promoting nightclub parties. To a small town girl that scene was big and full of excitement. I was hooked... in nightclubs 6 nights a week. Like most overindulgences it was great until it wasn't. I had a mental and emotional breakdown and eventually left school and got a real 9 to 5. (Side note - I will always be grateful that my college roommate recognized the self-destructive and dangerous mental state I was in. She had the courage to speak up and get me the help I needed when I was incapable of doing so for myself. I honestly don't know where I'd be without her. Thank you will never be enough Jenniferb Jacobson) All that said, I don't regret a minute of those 6 years. The lesson in it all is simple, "Never regret something that once made you smile." My years in DC were filled with too many smiles to count and sure there were challenges but learning from those challenges made me the resilient woman I am today.
Too many of us, at one time or another, have experienced a version of "love", an impostor's love so to speak. I have come to realize how impactful our early life experiences are in laying the foundation for how we define love for ourselves. Once that definition is firmly planted we often find ourselves growing into a repetitive cycle of accepting the "love" of impostors. This kind of love does not live alone in romantic relationships but in all relationships - professional and familial, acquaintanceships and friendships but most of all in our relationship with ourselves.
Examining my definition of love came amidst the most difficult time in my life. Ironically enough, it took the unimaginable deceit and betrayal uncovered during my divorce to finally break my cycle. I came out of that experience with this lesson... the most important relationship in my lifetime is with ME.
Love is often defined as an intense affection for another, but you see, it is much more than that. Love is the tenderness, affection and deep concern felt for a person. When viewed objectively it is easy to see that imposter love is callous, disdainful and neglectful. In the years since my divorce I worked hard to evaluate my relationships and redefine love... some relationships ended, some withstood and flourished and new ones emerged. For if you love yourself and spread love to others only then will you truly understand the meaning of love and its true power.
This sentiment, perhaps more than any other has been a driving force in my life for as long as I can remember. I am blessed to have parents, who, from a young age, instilled in me the belief that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
For too long I have carried my past with me - spending too much of the present regretting and questioning how I handled the challenges life put in my path. I have unjustly given priority to the negative moments and forgot to celebrate the lessons I learned along that helped to define my values. Perspective is a powerful thing; today my perspective changes. Today I am making the conscious decision to love my past enough to let it go and move on. I am convinced this somewhat simple shift is a necessary step to transition my mindset from surviving to thriving.
"All of me loves all of you." 7 little words when strung together can profoundly impact not only your life but the life of another. For many, me include, those 7 words come far easier than these 3... "I love myself."
I’ve gotten very good at recognizing a lack of self-compassion in others and encouraging them to practice better self-care, kindness and love. Even so, it remains very difficult to put into practice myself. Through a lot of hard work I've learned that my lack of self-compassion stems from traumas I survived as an adolescent. Experiencing trauma during the most formative years of my life firmly seeded my belief that I am unworthy of being loved and of loving myself.
I share because I know I am not alone.
Today, I feel blessed to have experienced the unconditional love of others. Make no mistake, it remains an extremely difficult emotion for me process. To openly accept the love of others requires the belief that one is worthy of receiving it. I likely won’t get comfortable with it until I learn how to have compassion for myself. That means showing up for me in the same way I show up for others.
The path of self-discovery isn't easy but it is worth it. I am worth it and so are you. If you are on a similar path I encourage you to keep moving forward.
This has been one of the hardest #lessons I've had to learn on my journey of self discovery. Letting go is never easy but surrounding yourself with people who don't truly value you for you is much harder in the long run. I finally learned the lesson my grandmother was trying to teach me when she said, "if you can count your friends on more than one hand you have none.”
Understanding what she meant means recognizing that there is a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Social media has diluted the meaning of friendship down to likes and follows. In reality friendship is sharing a mutual and close affection for one another. That affection is rooted in the free expression of kindness, sympathy, empathy and compassion.
Today my tribe is small yet mighty. We celebrate each other with small consistent gestures of love and gratitude.
When life happens to you and you are forced to survive instead of thrive. It is common to start putting up boundaries as a coping mechanism to shield yourself from the danger, pain and heartache that you believe is inevitable. For years I constructed boundaries and wore emotional "armor" any time I dared to venture beyond the boundaries.
In 2013 I began my personal journey to rediscover my true self with the goal of becoming the best version of myself. In the process, those boundaries have begun to break down and although not easy, three years later I've discovered that the view from the other side is simply spectacular.
I was once told, ..."when you're surviving you can't dream." I've come to realize you're also just existing. Beyond the boundaries is a life worth living; a journey that has no ending but is yours for the making.